THE PINTO STORY

Dear Adya,

As usual spending time with you was a delight.  Having a supportive environment for much more meditation was what I needed.  The Satsang talks are still assimilating deeply.

I want to share a happening on my way home from the retreat that seems to reflect a shift.

About 11:30 at night in the middle of nowhere I stopped for gas.
After filling up I went into the Mini-Mart center to get a soda and pay for my gas. As I entered I saw a slightly disheveled looking man in his early 30s asking someone entering, "Excuse me, I wondered if you could help me out.  I need a ride to Oceanside."  In the store getting my soda, the thought came this man will probably ask me when I come out.  Do I want to give him a ride? The answer came clear and crisp NO. I want to be alone at this time.  A thought cluster started to arise filled with not quite formed thoughts relating to shoulds and shouldn’ts philosophies of love, judgments and debate. No one arose to be the arbitrator of this merry go round. Without support and still unformed the cluster began to disappear and dissipate like smoke into nothingness then was gone. 

I was in line to pay for my gas and soda. In front of me was a man with a red flushed face buying some motor oil and two large cans of beer, one Coors and one Budweiser.  A strange purchase I thought. I became aware of a strong smell of alcohol, and I wondered has he opened the beer already? Peering over his shoulder with curiosity I looked and they were not opened. The thought came this man is an alcoholic.

After paying for my gas before stepping out, I remembered the man who wanted a ride.  The thought came if he doesn't notice me I will get in my car and be gone. If he approaches me I will see what happens. The answer had come before, but openness is ever fresh to each new moment. As I came out, I was not missed. The man approached me and said "Excuse me, I wondered if you could help me.  I need a ride to Oceanside".  I stopped to listen to him. There was a jumbled story of car problems, an accident, running out of money and an injured brother in Oceanside who he was desperately trying to get to see.  “I'm not a pan handler or nothing,” he said, “I'll show you my car.”  With curiosity I found my self walking with him to his car. I looked at him as we walked, mismatched clothes, unshaven face, a bandanna holding back slightly long oily hair, a small tattoo, one leg was artificial.  The thought came if I gave this man a ride would he possibly rob and hurt me.  The answer came crisp and clear No. (This man's dream is victim not victimizer.)

He pointed to an old beat-up Pinto. I was surprised.  I expected a wrecked car.  The story clarified.  His brother was in a serious car accident and was in the hospital in Oceanside.  He was out of money, and his car was burning a lot of oil, so he was prepared to leave it and hitch a ride to Oceanside to see his brother.  When we got up to car I was surprised to see a man sitting in the passenger side with two cans of beer in his lap, the man that had been in front of me in line.  I asked, “Is he coming with you?”  He said, “yes”. My response was clear "I'm sorry I don't want any alcohol in my car.” He said.” The beer is for my friend not for me.” I looked at him, he was sober with no alcohol smell, but in remembering the smell of alcohol on his friend, clarity was there. I said, “I don't even want the smell of alcohol in my car.”  I looked toward his friend with a smile and said, "No offense". His friend said, “None taken I understand, I wouldn't want it either.”

There was a pause, then I found myself pulling $20 out of my wallet and said, “Why don't you use this and drive your own car to Oceanside?”
He was very grateful and said this will help me a lot; this will get me almost there. The car does well on gas; it's oil it uses a lot of.
I pulled out another twenty and said, “This should get you all the way.”

My arm reached toward him around his shoulders, and I pulled him toward me with a tight squeeze, and I said take care of yourself. To my surprise I felt a melting and a response as his arm reached around to return the embrace. At that moment all stories were gone and Self was meeting Self.

He said with gratitude, “I'll pay you back. If you give me your name and address, I’ll send you the money.” I looked at him, knowing he may believe it now, but it wasn't going to happen. I said “That’s OK.” He said, “Are you sure?”  I said, “I have enough money.”  He said, “Will you pray for my brother?  His name is.......”  I smiled and thought he must think I'm a "Christian". As I was walking back to my car I saw the old Pinto pull out and up to one of the gas pumps.